[egretpelt]

(egretpelt)

67 -- ♂ -- windclan, warrior

❝ section i ❞

name progression - egretkit, egretpaw, egretpelt.

egret- for his light cream colored pelt; almost white -- sometimes described as 'eggshell-ish.'

-pelt some think for the distinct color of his pelt. 'pelt' entails 'averageness' which is how many perceived him in his younger moons; he's honed several skills since then, and has proven to have outstanding traits and skills in the particular areas he has honed in on. a name change is not warranted, or wanted.

sexuality - bisexual.
short description - longhaired cream colored tom, with blue eyes.

❝ section ii ❞

From a scrawny, almost sickly little kit, to a tall, leggy, slender tom, Egretpelt has gone from a couple of very strange extremes within his life time. He's an oddly tall cat, his body almost not quite proportionate to the height that his legs give him. With a quaint, triangular face, with prominent cheek bones, he could almost be called handsome until someone looked into his mouth. His teeth are crooked, growing in at haphazard angles that many wonder how they could even still have a hold within his mouth. And yet, some how, a very deep, almost soothing voice that always holds a caring tone (even when it spills out with words of anger, or spitting out a scold towards a dangerously (or annoyingly) misbehaving apprentice). His vocabulary is simple, but it's not 'dull.'

Egretpelt's fur is a thick, fluffy mass that makes him look almost fat. It's a mixture of creme and white, the creme being a tad darker on his face, almost orange giving the faintest hint of tabby markings. The rest of his body is alight, almost egg-shell kind of creme. The tip of his tail is a pure white, and are his toes, and muzzle. His eyes are slanted in a perpetually angry look, and his gaze if often piercing, with its brilliant blue hue. Egret usually holds himself with a slight air of confidence, that you can never really be sure if he's honestly just full of himself, or if he's trying to convince others that he doesn't hate himself. Aside from his rather ghastly teeth (which, the reason for will be explained later on), and brilliant eyes, Egretpelt doesn't have many distinguishing features. He has many scars, none of which are really worth mentioning, because they were all obtained in rather humdrum ways that warriors tend to obtain scars.

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❝ section iii ❞

inquisitive -- ostentatious -- flirty
outwardly cocky -- inwardly insecure
fiercely loyal -- anxious -- paranoid
borderline personality disorder, petulant

egretpelt has always been a curious individual. the world is a large, interesting place, filled with things that the windclan tom simply doesn't understand. things that he wants to understand, maybe even needs too. even from the time that he was a kit, egretpelt was one to always ask 'why?' perhaps it was viewed as annoying after the point of which he was asking 'why' to things that he wasn't old enough to understand, or had no business knowing at that particular time. this has perhaps lead to him knowing a little more than he should -- or rather knowing a little about of lot of slightly pointless things. there are somethings that he's never been brave enough to ask about, simply because he deems them inappropriate on all accounts. don't take this as him being morbid though. he's more apt to ask 'why do we have to fight the other clans, and not working together for the better of all,' than 'why does this mouse move?' he's curious, not mentally disturbed, remember this fact.

'pretentious.' 'showy.' 'ostentatious.' this is something that some wouldn't deem as a 'favorable' trait, but it does play in with his rather cocky behavior. from the time he was an apprentice, the windclan tom portrayed behavior that many could described in a way of 'continuously trying to impress.' this trait often comes out when he is around those he is not normally around; say, at a gathering. as an apprentice, he was known to belittle other clans, and make his own clan seem 'high and mighty,' in an attempt to make himself seem much more important than he really is. it's a strange way of getting others to like him, that usually results in others being slightly annoyed with him, and viewing him as something of a compulsive liar. as he has aged, this has evolved from trying to make himself seem better, to simply holding himself in a way that many just view as 'pretentious,' and cocky. he gives himself an air of importance, and this leads into several different traits, and is caused by several different things that afflict the windclan warrior's mental situation.

before getting to the odder things of the tom, we'll cover the fact that he is a flirty individual. he is known to flirt with anyone he deems attractive, and while it may seem charming... his run of mates, and failed relationships and friendships hold a testament to the fact that despite his charming, sometimes alluring ways, has difficulty holding true to stable, healthy relationships. He often holds himself as a 'player,' with promiscuous ways, in an attempt to fool himself into thinking that the cause for many failed relationships is the fact that he doesn't 'want' a steady relationship, rather than the fact that he is virtually incapable of doing so.

as noted several times before, egretpelt is a very cocky individual. this confidence does him good in many cases, but, many aren't aware of the fact that much of it is a facade. in actuality, egretpelt is a very insecure tom, and as often as he asks questions about life, he often asks himself many questions about himself. why can he not keep relationships? why can he not understand how he feels most of the time? how does he control himself, and why has he never been able to master the skill of self-control that many seemed to get as they aged. because of this, he feels that in order to keep others from truly noticing his social issues, he needs to play being cocky and overly confident, and that that fools those around him. which, in reality, it probably doesn't.

despite all of the things working against him and his view upon himself, egretpelt is a fiercely loyal cat. he generally agrees with whatever orders he is given by his superiors without question, at least, not outward question, and does whatever task is needed without much thinking. thankfully he's never been asked to do things that are less than honorable. but, that doesn't mean he wouldn't, if he was asked by a high ranking official within his clan. perhaps this loyalty is his way of proving that he can in some way hold onto a 'stable, and healthy long term commitment,' unlike every other aspect of his life.

unbeknownst to many, egretpelt is actually quite the anxious cat. he's been known to chew upon things like sticks, stones, bones, and other various things that are generally not considered consumable by cats in order to combat the feelings of anxiety that churn within his stomach. in his kithood, and apprenticeship, he was sent to the medicine cat after having accidentally swallowed something that he shouldn't have. so far, nothing has caused damage to his insides, and the only real signs of damage are his teeth. the state of his mouth is a combination of his nervous gnawing, and a genetics that caused his teeth to grow in, and remain in a truly horrendous state.

paranoia is something that has always plagued the windclan tom. it doesn't really manifest in an obvious way, and usually occurs when he's alone. he will feel like some grotesque monster is slinking up behind him, and looming just over his head with jaws spread wide ready to bite into him, and eyes glittering with malicious intent. it also manifests when he glances into the shadows, and becomes convinced that he can see the outline of a figure, just standing and staring. feeling as if he sees things from the corner of his eye, and becoming convinced that something is flitting around just within his range of sight. it can often drive him a little mad, and making him feel completely crazy. he rarely mentions these things to others, having long since learned that he was better off not mentioning these things to others. he keeps many of these paranoid actions and thoughts strictly to himself, viewing them as something that will make others think badly of him.

many of us are familiar with the 'textbook' definition of borderline personality disorder. many people confuse it with things like bipolar, being a generally pessimistic, intolerable person, annoying... though, many are not familiar with a particular sub-type of borderline personality disorder (bpd), that afflicts egretpelt in his day to day life, and explains much of his behavior. 'petulant.' despite his outward projections, many of his inward thoughts (some of which manage to pop out from time to time) are very fearful and anxious.

despite his constant attempts to make others enjoy his presence, he always tends to come across as possessive, and controlling, and many that enter a serious relationship with the tom discover this in full force. when he feels that the relationship is spiraling out of his control, he often goes to using various ways of manipulating and controlling his current partner, be it a mate or a friendship. he often makes them feel guilty, and anxious for leaving him, not including him, or doing something that he deems is 'not acceptable.'

being around egretpelt is a constant push and pull, switching between having an intense need for company, and then suddenly wanting to be completely alone. it's easy to get whiplash, and many often end up making a choice for their own wellbeing to exit a relationship with him, and this has proven to be a life long problem for the windclan tom. small things can cause him to fly off, into an intense rage. it's sort of a zero to ten at the drop of a leaf, and it can be very upsetting and off-putting for many to witness, or bear the brunt of.

dealing with this has always been a struggle for egretpelt, and always will be. he often feels guilty for not being able to control himself, and often throws him into a long spout of being riddled with anxiety, and showing signs of possibly being depressed. sometimes he feels as if nothing is wrong with him, and this is how everyone else is, and he just notices it more because it is him self. it's a constant switching around in view points, that often leads the tom feeling dazed and confused with himself, and in a constant quest to figure out what is wrong with him... when, really, he can't help it. but, he desires too, very strongly; if he will ever achieve the self control he almost lusts for, we'll never know.

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❝ section iv ❞

whiteflower x honeynose, cedarear
littlebird -- oatflower -- tansykit
stoatclaw -- elmfur -- patchthorn -- rooknose
runningwind -- tinykit -- teaselwhisker -- tallpaw

love. it has a tendency to blind, and to be blind. as such was the story between whiteflower, and honeynose. their lives started at the same time, their mothers were best friends, and did everything together (including going into labor). their fathers were also best friends, the four cats encouraging their kits to be close friends. best friends through their kithood, and apprenticeships, it was a friendship that followed them to their deaths. in their early moons as warriors, love between the two blossomed. whiteflower and honeynose began their lives as mates at roughly twenty moons old, when they accepted their love for each other was more than just strong friendship.

their love became stronger with each passing week, and soon, they were even closer as lovers, and as friends than they were prior. at twenty-nine moons of age, whiteflower became pregnant with her first - and only litter. now, don't take that to mean something horrible, and morbid. the cause for a singular litter wasn't some strange, horrendous reason -- they simply decided that a single litter was enough to make them happy, and content with life, and what they had done with themselves.

whiteflower enjoyed her pregnancy, and even more so because honeynose was there for her along every step of the way, almost becoming a mother hen over his beloved mate. at the point of which she looked like she might just split in half, whiteflower finally went into labor, and after a long, exhausting, but rewarding and encourage filled night, honeynose watched as his mate brought four beautiful kits into the world. even with their awkwardly shaped bodies, and gooey wet, sticky fur, he loved every single one of them with a fierce unconditional love that a only a father knows. whiteflower herself felt a very strong, loving bond to the kits, and found herself vowing to fight even a tiger off if she had too, to protect the little bundles that had been inside of her womb, comfortably tucked away in dark, warm safety only hours before.

their names - in respective birth order - were:

littlekit, tansykit, oatkit, and egret kit.

oatkit was the biggest, and admittedly the bully of the four. he was always the leader as well, initiating trouble whenever he could, leading his siblings into perilous adventures to the edge of camp, and attempting to sneak out. littlekit was the voice of reason, the one always saying 'maybe we shouldn't, think of what will happen if we do.' she was a calm, and very nurturing little she-cat, trying to keep her siblings out of harm's way. tansykit was the one with something to prove; he was tiny, with the looks, voice, and mannerisms that lead many to believe upon first seeing to be a little she-cat.

while he was feminine in his behaviors, he was one to get into even more trouble than oatkit, becoming known to fling himself head first into danger's path without so much as a whisker's twitch of a thought -- his excuse for this was always to prove to others that just because he was 'pretty' didn't mean he was tough. egretkit, the runt, and a bit of the black sheep of the four, was often the one just pulled along so that their parents couldn't scold them for not bringing along the whole group. after all, honeynose once said when scolding his kits 'if you're going to do something stupid, at least do that stupid thing together; never leave one another behind.'

at five moons, this rule was broken, and while it was not the first time, it was certainly the last. tansykit and oatkit had orchestrated some convoluted plan to sneak out, and find a rabbit's den. the point was to prove to the warriors that it was possible to get inside, and take full advantage of the rabbit's warren in the new-leaf season. aside from not letting their parents, and the clan's warriors know, the vote to leave their sickly, and small brother behind. which, wasn't that hard of a thing to do. egretkit had been ordered to stay in the nursery that day, because something remnant of a cold had filled his nose, and lungs with mucus, making it hard for the little kit to breath.

whiteflower was easy to avoid, since she was doting over her sick kitten like the mother hen that she was. honeynose had taken the task of watching the other kits, but had gotten called away to go onto a patrol. the elder who had taken the task of kit-sitting them had fallen asleep, and was laying in a patch of sun with a puddle of drool oozing out of his slightly parted lips. the kits took the chance of no watching eyes, and the absence of their brother to slip out, and put their plan in action, tansykit at the head of the little swarm of kits.

egretkit remembered the camp being in an uproar trying to find them, and he remembered knowing that everyone was feeling panicked, worried, and knew that his mother was plagued with thoughts of dead kits, pushing her closer and closer to hysteria. egretkit remembered feeling hurt, angry and very betrayed that his siblings had abandoned him, and went on an adventure without him. instead of being worried, like he should have been, he only felt angry at them.

part of him hoped that they got a harsh punishment, to teach them a lesson. maybe he would be praised for being a good kit? granted, he hadn't done anything, but lay in the nest with a cold, but he had still been a good kit! 'maybe i'll get praised, just so that they feel bad.' he remembered thinking. even so, he was still mad that his littermates had essentially abandoned him. this word made a worm of anxiety squirm within his stomach, swelling and growing, attempting to overwhelm him.

but then, time froze, and a hushed silence fell over the camp when honeynose, and his patrol had trod into the center of the camp, two kits walking with their heads low, eyes wide, and tiny bodies shaking with a numb shock. tiny scratches were on them both, but that wasn't the concern, or the horror that had hushed the camp. within honeynose's jaws hung the limp, bloodied body of tansykit. egretkit felt his jaw drop in stunned silence. whiteflower's pained, and grief stricken wail sliced through the camp.

tansykit had been mauled by a fox that had hidden in the particular warren the kits had picked out to enter, and raid. tansykit was dead.

life after tansykit's death, both whiteflower and honeynose went a little... crazy, so to say. they refused to leave their kits alone -- or even leave them for that matter until they were given their apprentice titles. and even then, the two cats were almost overprotective to the point of not allowing their kits to leave the camp, even with their mentors in the front. they were ten moons old before the two cats finally came to the mutual agreement to allow their kits to grow up; the horror of tansykit's death was just that. a real life horror -- a freak accident that shouldn't have happened, but it did, and there wasn't anything that could have been done. egretkit, now egretpaw, never quite understood the magnitude of what exactly had happened. though, he did realize that it had impacted his siblings who had witnessed their brother's untimely murder, but, the young tom could never quite grasp exactly how.

egretpaw developed from a moody, sickly, small kit into a slightly bigger, even more moody, but much healthier. this was where it became evident that he wasn't just a slightly spoiled, needy kit, too attached to his mother, and rather that there might be something wrong with the young tom. he became known for hectic, high stress relationships, and admittedly gave his mentor - cedarear - a bit of a greyed muzzle. teaching the highly moody, highly sensitive, and highly volatile young tom was a task that proved to drive the old tom just a little batty, but, he tried his best to help, and mold young egretpaw into a pleasant young tom. after all, the creme colored cat was a handsome fellow, but his personality was... ugly. cedarear tried, but whatever was afflicting the young tom wasn't something that he could help, and couldn't be fixed without help -- and the elder warrior wasn't sure that they had the capabilities to help whatever problem seemed to be gripping the creme colored cat.

upon receiving his warrior name (at fourteen moons of age), egretpaw graduated to egretpelt. he had taken personal offense to being the last named that night, and had taken a small grudge against his siblings... though, several days later, and he had dropped the little grudge, having forgotten what he was even offended by. his siblings were warriors, he was a warrior! the new found windclan warrior enjoyed, and even rejoiced in the new freedom that he had, and soon, a young tom, only a few moons older than egretpelt himself caught his eye... the ruddy colored tom, with inquisitive green eyes, a soothing, and rather charming voice, who's name was stoatclaw had captured young egretpelt's heart, and the creme colored tom became quite infatuated.

their relationship started as a friendship, rocky, at first, but it steadily grew for four moons, and when egretpelt was eighteen, almost nineteen moons old, he mustered up the courage to relay his feelings to stoatclaw. the young, handsome warrior admitted that he had had similar feelings towards the creme colored tom. their romantic relationship was a fast paced fling. it was good, it was lovely, perhaps even perfect... until things somehow took a huge turn, and for the worst. they began fighting, at first it was just a little bickering here, and there. until it became an every day occurrence. stoatclaw decided that the relationship needed to end, and broke it very gently to egretpelt. egretpelt had clawed stoatclaw's cheek, and for a long time, acted as if he hated the handsome tom.

the rest of his relationships ended up like this, though, stoatclaw was the only one that egretpelt had became physical with, out of anger. elmfur, patchthorn, rooknose. two litters of kits. two, had passed from birth defects - tinykit from a strange assess that had formed in his throat, and tallpaw from a heart condition that had left the young she-cat weak, and susceptible to other illnesses. leaf bare had brought a cold that struck the young apprentice down.

egretpelt could never quite grasp the impact that loosing two kits should have had on him, and instead often wondered where he had gone wrong to loose the relationships with their mothers, and the other young tom that he had been infatuated with. will he ever really be able to control it? will he be able to hold a steady relationship? egretpelt isn't quite sure...

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❝ section v ❞

image (c) bhermans of flickr.com

ooc alias - ulv.
timezone - GMT -5 hours.
tagged - THE COAL THAT BURNS YOU , SPLISH SPLASH

[THE COAL THAT BURNS YOU]

HOLY SHIT THIS BIO IS LONG!!! i'll read it all later :3

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