THE COAL THAT BURNS YOU likes this
first posted Jan 30, 2016 18:28:31 GMT
first posted Jan 30, 2016 18:28:31 GMT
Post by thicketstar on Jan 30, 2016 18:28:31 GMT
Thicketwhisker stood at the mouth of the great cave that held the Moonstone. Of course he had been here before - when he was made an apprentice and with his own apprentices needed to make the journey. But he had never once thought that he might be here for this reason. To be made leader.
He swallowed and glanced back over his shoulder at Pipitpaw and without another sound, Thicketwhisker put one paw in front of the other and made the trek down the cold path through the cave. He gasped softly when he rounded a corner and saw the great Moonstone before him and he dipped his head respecftully to the vessel of StarClan.
Without much more ceremony then that, he closed the gap between him and the stone and lay his body on the ground. He closed his eyes and muttered under his breath "StarClan I am ready" and touched his nose to the cold stone. His eyes fluttered for a moment and suddenly he was gone.
The white and brown tabby tom's eyes opened again and the first thing he noticed was that his paws were not on solid ground. His paws reached and grasped for something to stand on but he could only feel the starry sky. But he wasn't falling and he was safe. And before he could think anymore about it, he realized there was a plethora of cats around him; some of them he recognized as Clanmates and others he had never seen before. But there were so many cats here to see him named. His heart filled with joy at the thought of so many cats caring.
As his eyes scanned the crowed looking for a single familiar face he was distracted by a large white tom who stepped out of the crowed. A wide grin was plastered across the face of the massive cat and a twinkle pf pride filled his eyes. "Thicketwhisker. I am so proud of the cat you have become. Of course I am completely convinced I did all the hard work and your mother just sat around." Salt-tongue laughed heartily at his own joke. Thicketwhisker smiled, happy to see his father hadn't changed in StarClan. "Your first life is an important one, my son. Compassion, Thicketwhisker. Compassion is a trait you must always remember. No matter what the situation, it can always benefit from softness of heart."
The deputy-turned leader had heard stories of the pain that usually accompanied the lives given by StarClan cats to a leader. His muscles clenched as he closed his eyes and waited for the white tom to touch his nose. But when the boop came, nothing but warmth and love flowed through Thicketwhisker's body. There was nothing painful about this life and he breathed a sigh of relief, opening his eyes to see his father's form retreating into the crowed.
Almost on cue, the brown tabby form of Shadenose replaced the white cat. Her eyes were filled with fire as she shook her head and took her steps forward. She was mumbling something incoherently as she stepped up and only a few key words (Salt-tongue, furball, mousebrain) came through. Before she could even speak, Thicketwhisker was smiling at her. She inhaled deeply and brought her eyes up to lay on her son. "Thicketwhisker. I hope dear Featherfall is less obnoxious then your father is. Please give your sweet mate my regards."
Thicketwhisker dipped his head to his mother. She and Featherfall had always gotten along and Shadenose had been pleased when they announced their first litter. "Ferocity, Thicketwhisker, is the life I have for you. Ferocity is a tool every mother utilizes in the defense of her kits and one sometimes even fathers learn. But it is a trait often overlooked for a leader for all Clanmates are like a leader's kits. Be ferocious in defense of your Clan."
He blinked a few times in surprise. His stoic and silence had come from his mother and he wasn't sure if he had ever heard her say so many words at once. But this thought and the attempt to find a memory to agree or refute this idea she touched noses with him and he suddenly knew the pain every leader had spoken of. Heat and crippling pain spread through his body like wildfire. This one alone was almost enough to make him cry and he wondered how many more of his remaining lives would hurt like this one and how many would be soft like his father's gift had been.
As Thicketwhisker chocked and tried to hold back the tears of pain, his mother disappeared without so much as a goodbye. And by the time that the almost leader had control of his limbs and sight again, it was the figure of Rocktail that stood before him now. "Brother!" Thicketwhisker exclaimed at the surprise of this tom. Although Thicketwhisker and Rocktail had been close in their kithood and apprenticeship, Rocktail had never approved of the type of cat that Featherfall had made him and the warrior had gone to StarClan without a reconciliation.
"Greetings, brother. I would like to apologize for the things that were said in my life. And to help make up for the rift that came between us, i give you the gift of Joy. Do not let any other cat tell you what do do for your own happiness and always follow your heart." The white tom had little else to say and after a brief touch of the nose and the exchanging of a pleasant life of warmth and happiness, the StarClan cat retreated to the group.
For a brief moment, no cat stepped forward and a sudden fear flashed through Thicketwhisker. Was there a reason he would be receiving less lives then he should. And he still hadn't found the one cat he was searching for. Was she even here? But just as these thoughts were thought, a handsome black tom slithered out from between two cats the ShadowClan cat didn't recognize. But he did recognize the lithe form floating toward him. A sly smile twinkled in his eyes though his face was solid and calm.
"Oh, my dearest Thicketwhisker. My favorite and most eager apprentice. You were always my best student and my strongest warrior. I am pleased to call you my apprentice, even now as you become ShadowClan's leader. I am giving you the gift of Knowledge. While you already know much and have mentored your fair share of 'paws, there is always more to learn. Use this life not only to learn from others but to take every opportunity to teach."
Thicketwhisker was expecting this life to be calm and serene but a pain ricocheted around his body that cought him off guard. It was a burning pain and one that made his head hurt morbidly. This pain was still not as bad as his mother's life had been but it was definitely enough to knock the wind out of the big tom. "Crowpaw thanks you." He muttered, trying to be both funny and thankful but his panting made it sound desperate.
The black tom smiled over his shoulder and waved his tail at him as he made his way back to the group of cats. He nodded to the tom that stepped forward and at the sight of the next cat, Thicketwhisker gasped audibly. He could feel the excitement bubbling in his toes and suddenly he felt like a kit again.
Oakheart's brown form padded lightly forward. The great tom who had died in service of his Clan dipped his head to Thicketwhisker. The grown warrior tried not to shake in his excitement but it had been moons since he had seen his idol and greatest inspiration. "Thicketwhisker, Smallclaw said it all but I will add to his words. You are a gift that ShadowClan could not survive without. My life to you is Tenderness and Love. Use this life to love all cats who need it." He paused and turned to leave but dropped his voice and hunched his shoulders and muttered "Tell her I'm sorry and I miss her." After a quick nod and indication of understanding from Thicketwhisker, Oakheart turned and left.
Once again, no cat stepped out before him and Thicketwhisker thought again that he may only be getting a few lives. But as he tried again to think of why that would be the case, he heard a familiar voice behind him. "I'm here." Thicketwhisker froze at that voice. His eyes widened and when the other cat didn't walk around to his front, he slowly turned to face the apprentice before him.
Memories flooded back to him and he could already feel the pain he knew this life would bring him. "Cowpaw, I am so -" The smaller cat flicked her tail to silence Thicketwhisker and the almost-leader's voice cracked and silenced immediately. "Don't bother. I've come to terms." As she spoke, the apprentice's eyes softened instaintly and she sighed softly. Her shoulders fell and she suddenly lost all tensity. "Thicketwhisker, the life I have for you is Forgiveness. I don't think I need to explain these reasonings to you. But use this life to know when to accept forgiveness." She paused and lifted her head so their eyes met. "And when to give it." The dead apprentice dipped her head in respect. "I accept your apology." Then she stepped forward and touched noses. The pain that rippled through him was excruciating and a hundred times worse then the one his mother had given.
Thicketwhisker didn't expect any less then pain for the life the Cowpaw gave him but this was more then even he had expected. But it wasn't the life that caused him the most pain. Thicketwhisker choked back a tear and opened his mouth to shout after the black and white spotted she-cat and shook his head as he tried not to loose his emotions. But at the site of the small cat that stepped forward next, his control was lost. A tear fell from the usually-stoic tom's eye and his legs gave out. His fluffy body collapsed to the ground.
The starry-pelted kit ran to the side of her friend and nuzzled her little orange face into the larger fluffy tom. "Don't worry, Thicketwhisker. It's not your fault." Thicketwhisker shook his head and choked on the air that wouldn't go down his throat. "Of course it is, how can you say that. I'm so sorry, Grasskit. I am so sorry." The usually dignified tom dropped his head to the ground and groveled at the paws of the kit. But the little orange tabby just shook her head and blinked the green eyes that were filled with only love for the older cat.
"You need to use Cowpaw's gift to learn to forgive yourself as well. But my gift of life to you is Youth. It was an experience I did not get much of. I would like you to live my youth for me and make sure that every cat gets the opportunity to live their life in its entirety." The little WindClan kit snuggled her soft face into the long fur and Thicketwhisker felt the warmth and softness of his kithood again pass through him. Even without the typical nose to nose connection, the powerful little StarClan kit was able to pass on her life.
He let his head remain on the ground as he breathed heavily, trying to figure out who the last two lives would come from. Despite all of the surprises StarClan had thrown at him, he still hadn't caught sight of the one cat he was expecting. But before he could think too much on her presence and lack there of, a familiar and strong tom padded forward.
Instinct took over and Thicketwhisker dipped his head in respect to the former leader. "Stand please, Thicketwhisker." The deputy obeyed Birchstar's command and stood at the paws of the tom who had looked over ShadowClan for most of Thicketstar's young life. "The life I have for you comes with Intuition. It is a skill that must be developed but also trusted. Do not make the mistakes I made with your Clan and follow your instinct." The dead leader - though he had been ripped apart in his death - now looked strong and fit again and Thicketwhisker was glad for the little magics StarClan could work.
When the leader's nose touched his, he was surprised by the pain this life caused. But as he tried to keep it under control, he realized the pain he felt was the pain Birchstar had felt at Littlefang's betrayal and he vowed never to feel that pain from another cat down in the forest. "Thank you." Thicketwhisker called out to the retreating form of his leader.
One life left. One life left and one cat he had yet to find. He spun around to glance over the cats, to see those he recognized. A few aunts and uncles and other family. Rainmist - the warrior murdered by Bleak when he had been leader. Squirrelstar and Sheepnose and Springstar and Dewleaf and Brittlebreeze were all gathered around. Many cats he did not recognize that might have been ShadowClan warriors from before his time or cats from other Clans who had come to see the new cat who would rebuild ShadowClan.
He thought he glimpsed the spotted golden form of Ivystar but couldn't be sure for right when he might have seen the form of a cat he thought very much alive, his thoughts were interrupted but a mostly white she-cat who stepped forward.
Thicketwhisker's heart dropped and he released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. There was absolutely no reason that Cloverstar would have gone to the Dark Forest, but if she hadn't shown up here tonight, he would have had no other ideas. But there she was, strong and lean and as graceful as she ever had been and she stepped forward now in tact and tired? "I give you the gift of Trust. I failed to earn the trust of my clanmates, it divided the clan and made us weak. Thicketwhisker, you must learn from my mistakes. Follow your heart, for it knows the right path to follow."
Thicketwhisker dipped his head to the she-cat who had once been his apprentice and when he lifted it again she was close enough to touch noses with him. But before he moved forward to receive his last life he spoke: "I am sorry I couldn't protect you." He moved his head to touch her nose right as he heard her repeat "Follow your heart." and the gift of trust rippled through him. It was neither painful nor pleasent it just...was. Trust was something that just happened to those who were worthy of it.
The white she-cat did not turn to leave like the others had and she spoke again, this time loud enough for the many gathered cats to here. "Thicketwhisker, my deputy, my mentor and my friend. I have looked to you so much in my life time and now all of ShadowClan will look to you. With your nine lives, I hereby name you Thicketstar, leader of ShadowClan."
She dipped her head in respect to the new leader and as she did, the entire mystical starry clearing of StarClan cats erupted into the chanting of his new name. Thicketstar was overwhelmed with the feelings of what his lives had been about and he dipped his head to the gathering of cats. But when he tried to lift his head again, he realized how heavy his body was.
He blinked slowly and he could feel his true body again. He had returned from his dream like state and though his body still ached from a few of the lives, he felt stronger and more ready to lead ShadowClan then he ever thought he would be. Thicketstar was not sure how much time had passed but he followed the path back out of the Moonstone cave and found Pippitpaw outside. He called out the the Medicine Cat Apprentice with a soft call: "Pippitpaw. I am ready to return home."
He swallowed and glanced back over his shoulder at Pipitpaw and without another sound, Thicketwhisker put one paw in front of the other and made the trek down the cold path through the cave. He gasped softly when he rounded a corner and saw the great Moonstone before him and he dipped his head respecftully to the vessel of StarClan.
Without much more ceremony then that, he closed the gap between him and the stone and lay his body on the ground. He closed his eyes and muttered under his breath "StarClan I am ready" and touched his nose to the cold stone. His eyes fluttered for a moment and suddenly he was gone.
The white and brown tabby tom's eyes opened again and the first thing he noticed was that his paws were not on solid ground. His paws reached and grasped for something to stand on but he could only feel the starry sky. But he wasn't falling and he was safe. And before he could think anymore about it, he realized there was a plethora of cats around him; some of them he recognized as Clanmates and others he had never seen before. But there were so many cats here to see him named. His heart filled with joy at the thought of so many cats caring.
As his eyes scanned the crowed looking for a single familiar face he was distracted by a large white tom who stepped out of the crowed. A wide grin was plastered across the face of the massive cat and a twinkle pf pride filled his eyes. "Thicketwhisker. I am so proud of the cat you have become. Of course I am completely convinced I did all the hard work and your mother just sat around." Salt-tongue laughed heartily at his own joke. Thicketwhisker smiled, happy to see his father hadn't changed in StarClan. "Your first life is an important one, my son. Compassion, Thicketwhisker. Compassion is a trait you must always remember. No matter what the situation, it can always benefit from softness of heart."
The deputy-turned leader had heard stories of the pain that usually accompanied the lives given by StarClan cats to a leader. His muscles clenched as he closed his eyes and waited for the white tom to touch his nose. But when the boop came, nothing but warmth and love flowed through Thicketwhisker's body. There was nothing painful about this life and he breathed a sigh of relief, opening his eyes to see his father's form retreating into the crowed.
Almost on cue, the brown tabby form of Shadenose replaced the white cat. Her eyes were filled with fire as she shook her head and took her steps forward. She was mumbling something incoherently as she stepped up and only a few key words (Salt-tongue, furball, mousebrain) came through. Before she could even speak, Thicketwhisker was smiling at her. She inhaled deeply and brought her eyes up to lay on her son. "Thicketwhisker. I hope dear Featherfall is less obnoxious then your father is. Please give your sweet mate my regards."
Thicketwhisker dipped his head to his mother. She and Featherfall had always gotten along and Shadenose had been pleased when they announced their first litter. "Ferocity, Thicketwhisker, is the life I have for you. Ferocity is a tool every mother utilizes in the defense of her kits and one sometimes even fathers learn. But it is a trait often overlooked for a leader for all Clanmates are like a leader's kits. Be ferocious in defense of your Clan."
He blinked a few times in surprise. His stoic and silence had come from his mother and he wasn't sure if he had ever heard her say so many words at once. But this thought and the attempt to find a memory to agree or refute this idea she touched noses with him and he suddenly knew the pain every leader had spoken of. Heat and crippling pain spread through his body like wildfire. This one alone was almost enough to make him cry and he wondered how many more of his remaining lives would hurt like this one and how many would be soft like his father's gift had been.
As Thicketwhisker chocked and tried to hold back the tears of pain, his mother disappeared without so much as a goodbye. And by the time that the almost leader had control of his limbs and sight again, it was the figure of Rocktail that stood before him now. "Brother!" Thicketwhisker exclaimed at the surprise of this tom. Although Thicketwhisker and Rocktail had been close in their kithood and apprenticeship, Rocktail had never approved of the type of cat that Featherfall had made him and the warrior had gone to StarClan without a reconciliation.
"Greetings, brother. I would like to apologize for the things that were said in my life. And to help make up for the rift that came between us, i give you the gift of Joy. Do not let any other cat tell you what do do for your own happiness and always follow your heart." The white tom had little else to say and after a brief touch of the nose and the exchanging of a pleasant life of warmth and happiness, the StarClan cat retreated to the group.
For a brief moment, no cat stepped forward and a sudden fear flashed through Thicketwhisker. Was there a reason he would be receiving less lives then he should. And he still hadn't found the one cat he was searching for. Was she even here? But just as these thoughts were thought, a handsome black tom slithered out from between two cats the ShadowClan cat didn't recognize. But he did recognize the lithe form floating toward him. A sly smile twinkled in his eyes though his face was solid and calm.
"Oh, my dearest Thicketwhisker. My favorite and most eager apprentice. You were always my best student and my strongest warrior. I am pleased to call you my apprentice, even now as you become ShadowClan's leader. I am giving you the gift of Knowledge. While you already know much and have mentored your fair share of 'paws, there is always more to learn. Use this life not only to learn from others but to take every opportunity to teach."
Thicketwhisker was expecting this life to be calm and serene but a pain ricocheted around his body that cought him off guard. It was a burning pain and one that made his head hurt morbidly. This pain was still not as bad as his mother's life had been but it was definitely enough to knock the wind out of the big tom. "Crowpaw thanks you." He muttered, trying to be both funny and thankful but his panting made it sound desperate.
The black tom smiled over his shoulder and waved his tail at him as he made his way back to the group of cats. He nodded to the tom that stepped forward and at the sight of the next cat, Thicketwhisker gasped audibly. He could feel the excitement bubbling in his toes and suddenly he felt like a kit again.
Oakheart's brown form padded lightly forward. The great tom who had died in service of his Clan dipped his head to Thicketwhisker. The grown warrior tried not to shake in his excitement but it had been moons since he had seen his idol and greatest inspiration. "Thicketwhisker, Smallclaw said it all but I will add to his words. You are a gift that ShadowClan could not survive without. My life to you is Tenderness and Love. Use this life to love all cats who need it." He paused and turned to leave but dropped his voice and hunched his shoulders and muttered "Tell her I'm sorry and I miss her." After a quick nod and indication of understanding from Thicketwhisker, Oakheart turned and left.
Once again, no cat stepped out before him and Thicketwhisker thought again that he may only be getting a few lives. But as he tried again to think of why that would be the case, he heard a familiar voice behind him. "I'm here." Thicketwhisker froze at that voice. His eyes widened and when the other cat didn't walk around to his front, he slowly turned to face the apprentice before him.
Memories flooded back to him and he could already feel the pain he knew this life would bring him. "Cowpaw, I am so -" The smaller cat flicked her tail to silence Thicketwhisker and the almost-leader's voice cracked and silenced immediately. "Don't bother. I've come to terms." As she spoke, the apprentice's eyes softened instaintly and she sighed softly. Her shoulders fell and she suddenly lost all tensity. "Thicketwhisker, the life I have for you is Forgiveness. I don't think I need to explain these reasonings to you. But use this life to know when to accept forgiveness." She paused and lifted her head so their eyes met. "And when to give it." The dead apprentice dipped her head in respect. "I accept your apology." Then she stepped forward and touched noses. The pain that rippled through him was excruciating and a hundred times worse then the one his mother had given.
Thicketwhisker didn't expect any less then pain for the life the Cowpaw gave him but this was more then even he had expected. But it wasn't the life that caused him the most pain. Thicketwhisker choked back a tear and opened his mouth to shout after the black and white spotted she-cat and shook his head as he tried not to loose his emotions. But at the site of the small cat that stepped forward next, his control was lost. A tear fell from the usually-stoic tom's eye and his legs gave out. His fluffy body collapsed to the ground.
The starry-pelted kit ran to the side of her friend and nuzzled her little orange face into the larger fluffy tom. "Don't worry, Thicketwhisker. It's not your fault." Thicketwhisker shook his head and choked on the air that wouldn't go down his throat. "Of course it is, how can you say that. I'm so sorry, Grasskit. I am so sorry." The usually dignified tom dropped his head to the ground and groveled at the paws of the kit. But the little orange tabby just shook her head and blinked the green eyes that were filled with only love for the older cat.
"You need to use Cowpaw's gift to learn to forgive yourself as well. But my gift of life to you is Youth. It was an experience I did not get much of. I would like you to live my youth for me and make sure that every cat gets the opportunity to live their life in its entirety." The little WindClan kit snuggled her soft face into the long fur and Thicketwhisker felt the warmth and softness of his kithood again pass through him. Even without the typical nose to nose connection, the powerful little StarClan kit was able to pass on her life.
He let his head remain on the ground as he breathed heavily, trying to figure out who the last two lives would come from. Despite all of the surprises StarClan had thrown at him, he still hadn't caught sight of the one cat he was expecting. But before he could think too much on her presence and lack there of, a familiar and strong tom padded forward.
Instinct took over and Thicketwhisker dipped his head in respect to the former leader. "Stand please, Thicketwhisker." The deputy obeyed Birchstar's command and stood at the paws of the tom who had looked over ShadowClan for most of Thicketstar's young life. "The life I have for you comes with Intuition. It is a skill that must be developed but also trusted. Do not make the mistakes I made with your Clan and follow your instinct." The dead leader - though he had been ripped apart in his death - now looked strong and fit again and Thicketwhisker was glad for the little magics StarClan could work.
When the leader's nose touched his, he was surprised by the pain this life caused. But as he tried to keep it under control, he realized the pain he felt was the pain Birchstar had felt at Littlefang's betrayal and he vowed never to feel that pain from another cat down in the forest. "Thank you." Thicketwhisker called out to the retreating form of his leader.
One life left. One life left and one cat he had yet to find. He spun around to glance over the cats, to see those he recognized. A few aunts and uncles and other family. Rainmist - the warrior murdered by Bleak when he had been leader. Squirrelstar and Sheepnose and Springstar and Dewleaf and Brittlebreeze were all gathered around. Many cats he did not recognize that might have been ShadowClan warriors from before his time or cats from other Clans who had come to see the new cat who would rebuild ShadowClan.
He thought he glimpsed the spotted golden form of Ivystar but couldn't be sure for right when he might have seen the form of a cat he thought very much alive, his thoughts were interrupted but a mostly white she-cat who stepped forward.
Thicketwhisker's heart dropped and he released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. There was absolutely no reason that Cloverstar would have gone to the Dark Forest, but if she hadn't shown up here tonight, he would have had no other ideas. But there she was, strong and lean and as graceful as she ever had been and she stepped forward now in tact and tired? "I give you the gift of Trust. I failed to earn the trust of my clanmates, it divided the clan and made us weak. Thicketwhisker, you must learn from my mistakes. Follow your heart, for it knows the right path to follow."
Thicketwhisker dipped his head to the she-cat who had once been his apprentice and when he lifted it again she was close enough to touch noses with him. But before he moved forward to receive his last life he spoke: "I am sorry I couldn't protect you." He moved his head to touch her nose right as he heard her repeat "Follow your heart." and the gift of trust rippled through him. It was neither painful nor pleasent it just...was. Trust was something that just happened to those who were worthy of it.
The white she-cat did not turn to leave like the others had and she spoke again, this time loud enough for the many gathered cats to here. "Thicketwhisker, my deputy, my mentor and my friend. I have looked to you so much in my life time and now all of ShadowClan will look to you. With your nine lives, I hereby name you Thicketstar, leader of ShadowClan."
She dipped her head in respect to the new leader and as she did, the entire mystical starry clearing of StarClan cats erupted into the chanting of his new name. Thicketstar was overwhelmed with the feelings of what his lives had been about and he dipped his head to the gathering of cats. But when he tried to lift his head again, he realized how heavy his body was.
He blinked slowly and he could feel his true body again. He had returned from his dream like state and though his body still ached from a few of the lives, he felt stronger and more ready to lead ShadowClan then he ever thought he would be. Thicketstar was not sure how much time had passed but he followed the path back out of the Moonstone cave and found Pippitpaw outside. He called out the the Medicine Cat Apprentice with a soft call: "Pippitpaw. I am ready to return home."