[pepper--]

Okay, so I'm trying to work on this character, "Pepperpatch" who will be a member of ThunderClan. It has been a while since I've written a bio so I'm rather rusty and have lots of room for improvement, which I hope to see here.

Any-way I've been working on her history...and all of the sudden I got a writer's block and I have become unsure of what I am writing and where I am going with this.

So this is where all of you lovely people come in; I am going to post what I have so far, feel free to read and critique and throw ideas at me...or if you just want to post your opinion that's fine too!

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Crowheart was an older, and well respected member of ThunderClan; having seen his fair share of seasons and many moons. A dedicated and loyal member of his clan, no one really questioned why he never seemed to want to settle down and start a family; most assumed he loved ThunderClan more than the idea of taking a mate, and that he would forever be a bachelor.



During the Greenleaf of his fortieth moon, Crowheart was given his second apprentice, a female, and her name was Applepaw. You probably couldn’t find a more unlikely pair than those two; constantly at war with each other and butting heads over the simplest things, most chalk it up to Crowheart’s attempt to be a fatherly figure, without really knowing how, and Applepaw’s strong-willed nature and thirst for excitement. There had actually been a point in time during her training in which Crowheart quietly approached his leader at the time and asked if someone else could mentor the young she-cat. He of course was told “no” and as a mark of a good warrior, would have to learn to work with those he didn’t see eye to eye with.



In time Crowheart would learn he needed to relax more and not be “such a stick in the mud” as Applepaw would teasingly call him, and Applepaw would learn to settle down, develop more of a head on her shoulders and begin to mature…



They began to develop a closer bond, overcoming most of their differences, more often able to see eye-to-eye. It was Crowheart that would call her name the loudest when it was time for her to made into a warrior…Applenose! Applenose! Applenose! And it was Crowheart whom she went on a late night hunt with after her early morning silent vigil.



There was quite a bit of talk when several weeks later Applenose was looking a bit rounder, she was finding it difficult to attribute it to feeling the effects of a rather plentiful Greenleaf, and couldn’t deny that she had spent and been spending quite a bit of time with her former mentor. The other she-cats of the clan like to gossip, it had to have been during her apprenticeship, to be showing so quickly…she was so young and he was much older, he should’ve known better, oh the scandal! Soon the entire clan knew that Crowheart, a well-respected warrior, had impregnated his former apprentice.



In no time at all Applenose had moved into the nursery, pregnancy suited the young she-cat, there was a light “glow” about her and a spring in her step; the same however could not be said for the father-to-be. He couldn’t tune out the whispers like Applenose could, turning a deaf ear to the rumors and gossip seemed easier said than done. It began to take hold. The feeling of guilt. The ever present thoughts of how he had once been one of the most respected warriors in the clan and now he was talked about as if he had broken the warrior code. And his young “mate”; he especially felt guilty about her…he had condemned her to a life as an early queen, stuck in the nursery before she had even had the chance to experience what it tasted like to be a real warrior; there was so much being a warrior had to offer and somehow, in his mind she was now tainted or behind.



Crowheart became distant, at first it was barely noticeable but then his visits and doting on Applenose just stopped. He had explained to Applenose how he felt, and she felt he was being ridiculous; but she wasn’t exactly surprised when he stopped coming to the nursery.



Applenose gave birth late in Greenleaf, alone save the medicine cat who popped in to check on her, no mate by her side; perhaps it was because she was a young mother, or perhaps it was the sadness over Crowheart’s decisions, but only one kit was born, a girl with patched black and orange fur with some white and she was given the name Pepperkit.



A kit the spitting image of her mother in personality and seemingly determined to give the young queen a run for her money, was quite the pawful. Oh if it was not attached to anything or being carefully watched by and older cat, as far as Pepperkit was concerned it was fair game to be played with. That means bedding, scraps of food, and she had to be watched like a hawk if she ventured to close to the medicine cat's den. Applenose was constantly talking to her daughter about not touching things that weren’t hers or that mommy didn’t “okay first”. As she got older Pepperkit began to notice that some of the other kits had two parents to play with and watch over them. It was then that Applenose told her about her daddy Crowheart, skating over the guilt that he felt and deciding to tell her that he was very bust and a very important member of the clan, and he didn’t really have time to visit. She did however take the time to point out Crowheart to her, and told her that he watches her from afar.



Entering her sixth moon, kneading the ground beside her mother in anticipation, Applenose watching her daughter with pride, and Crowheart sitting in the back…watching from afar…Pepperkit was named Pepperpaw, the excitement radiating off the young she-cat was almost palpable and she raised her head to tough noses with her new mentor, a young tom called Aspencloud. Crowheart’s eyes were narrowed as he remembered a certain apprenticeship.



That night, Crowheart approached his leader, asking for a mentor change for his daughter, a female warrior; his leader shook his head and asked why in StarClan does the gender matter? Crowheart told him he didn’t want the same thing to happen to Pepperpaw that happened to her mother. His leader called him ridiculous and told him his worries were all in his head.

[THE COAL THAT BURNS YOU]

i think the bio is fine. it's thorough, tells a great story, and is intricate and well-written. i definitely have no critiques myself.